The rarest movie of them all: BOB LEE SCHAUT NACH DEM RECHTEN/BOB LEE HANDLES THIS (1986) The Fu Manchu Ninja Epic you will never see

 

Movies are like start-ups: Only a few really make it and they have to carry the load of all the other failed attempts. For every movie that is shown somewhere, there are dozens that are never shown and for all the dozens never shown there are again dozens (it's exponential!) that are not finished and again dozens that are cancelled even before shooting starts - and for each one of them, dozens have been pitched and dozens don't make it even that far.

Dr. Fu in his Dojo

This has nothing to do with movies: For each successful singer / book author the equation is the same. Some do not make it to the recording, mixing, distribution asf.

In the 2 years we are making KRIMI! now, we came across a handful of lost, unfinished, never distributed movies that - if you are lucky - are hidden in a private collection and - if you are even more lucky - can be secured there before the collector dies and everything goes to the garbage dump.

My fascination with this kind of "veiled" or "lost" movies dates back a long time:

In 1987 I lived in Hamburg and roamed all the video-stores they had - like: every one. I had about 20 membership cards and my hunger for strange and (to me) unknown movies was insatiable. It soon turned out that the movies on the smaller labels with few copies made were the one that I fancied most and I soon started collecting them and duplicating them whenever a buddy with another VCR was at hand. These were strange movies in very strange German versions.

One day in a rural area I saw a handmade cover (I do not remember if it was copied or the real thing) of something that was obviously a locally home-made Ninja Movie. I went to the counter to get more info, but the clerk was not particularly interested: "seems like they just put it there to see if someone wants to see it...". And so I did.

Dr. Fu kills one of his Ninjas: That one had failed to kill Bob

I do not remember much, but I know that I had fun and it was in an exaggerated pre-code even silent serial style and quickly transferred it to my VHS collection. And there it sat for 30 years. And then I looked at all of my fancy DVDs and BDs and the space the 300+ VHS cassettes were occupying  and I thought: Well... these are all copies, I can't sell them, maybe I will transfer some  rare TV-plays and throw them away (that were nearly never shown again and are not available right now either --- just to wet your appetite: When the "MARK OF THE DEVIL" films were huge, a German TV-Station made an "educational" TV-play called "CAUTIO CRIMINALIS" which was a huge scandal back then, including naked witches in chains.... you can see that one on youtube, but  in a heavily censored version, as the original 1974 broadcast was never shown again)

Some cool shots and intelligent camera-movement make this film above-average

Well... back: So I transferred all the VHS tapes via DVD-Recorder to DVDs- but only those I found worthy. And for pure lazyness, I never checked the quality during the transfers. 

Then, last year I remembered that Ninja Film and looked up and down the internet for it - no chance - not even the slightest hint of its existance. Well, I thought, that was it then, obviously I threw my copy away. And I did not even know how the movie was called anymore....

I even forgot about the 100+ DVD-Rs until I found some time to throw some stuff out. And there they were. And I took one from the spindle and put it in the DVD-Player: It was some kind of theater production I had recorded but after that... .there he was... nearly unrecognisable: The Movie I had been looking for.

Obviouly heavy tracking problems and the whole thing ends after 20 minutes as the DVD-R was obviously full:

BOB LEE SCHAUT NACH DEM RECHTEN

Well, as there is zero information on that movie and the opening credits reveal nothing, I cannot tell you about the names of the cast or staff or whoever is involved in a movie.

But do not get me wrong: Lighting, music and acting is not bad, the locations are chosen with care, we even get real sets and this was at least shot on professional video equipment. We get good character-design, plenty of expressionistic stylistic throwbacks and this movie feels serious though it does not trake itself too seriously. The story is basically forgettable:

Professional opening titles courtesy of "WANG TANG PICTURES"

Our hero Bob Lee has to fight his way through an endless series of fight-scenes to rescue his girlfriend and take revenge on the evil Dr. who once tortured him. The movie is played for laughs as "Superhero" Bob Lee is obviously a far worse fighter than his opponents from the local karate-club.

Impressive: As Dr. Fu orders his 10 Ninjas to search for Bob, the camera moves in a crane-shot up behind his back to reveal them

.

Dungeons, chains, naked bodies: you name it

The Doctor is having fun with his blow-torch and suddenly we are in J. Sarno land

Fight scene in some park

We even get a damsel in distress, who is kidnapped

So that's it. I brought it up. Another lost "gem" to search for. And, honestly, the whole purpose of this blog-entry is to manifest the existance of this movie in the world... it is .... somewhere out there... waiting for you...

I do not have answers. All I have is questions...

Just leave more information on this movie, if you have them :-)

Ah, yes: This is the "BOBBY LEE is a Ninja" film for real :-)